United News of Bangladesh

Limerence is a little-known psychological phenomenon where a romantic crush becomes all-consuming and obsessive, affecting mental health and daily life. Tom Bellamy, a neuroscientist, experienced limerence while happily married, developing uncontrollable feelings for a co-worker despite having no intention of pursuing a relationship. He describes it as an “altered state of mind” that feels euphoric and addictive, with thoughts racing and energy levels heightened. The term was coined in the 1970s by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, who identified it as an involuntary, intrusive longing for another person, called the limerent object (LO). Episodes can occur once or repeatedly in life, lasting from 18 months to three years or more. If unmanaged, limerence can become distressing, causing feelings of helplessness and loss of control. A key feature of limerence is the “glimmer,” or the uncertainty of reciprocation, which fuels obsessive thoughts. Unlike infatuation, which typically fades within months, limerence can disrupt sleep, hygiene, work, and relationships, leaving sufferers preoccupied with every interaction and gesture from the LO. Limerence is distinct from romantic passion, which involves emotional and physical intimacy, though both can activate the brain’s reward system. While some researchers view it as harmful and separate from love, others note it can exist within healthy relationships, as Bellamy experienced with his wife by openly communicating and avoiding contact with the co-worker. Though not officially recognised as a psychological disorder, limerence is gaining attention. Studies suggest it may relate to attachment styles or mental health conditions like OCD, ADHD, or PTSD, but evidence is limited. Experts note that while limerence shares traits with obsessive behaviours, most people do not act harmfully toward the LO. Effective management often involves cutting contact or receiving clear rejection, helping the limerent feelings gradually fade. Limerence shows how powerful and consuming human attachment can be, highlighting the delicate balance between romantic longing and emotional well-being.   With inputs from BBC